I like food

I don't know a lot of things in life. Sometimes I'm confused which hand is my right hand and which hand is my left hand. (in my defense, they look really similar)

I don't know if I'm team Bieber or team One Direction, because they're both so catchy and lovable.
Sometimes I don't know why I'm not a mermaid.

No, I don't know a lot of things in life. But I do know one thing, I know I like food. I think it has something to do with the fact that without it I would literally die. There's something rather endearing about the necessities.

I also know that I am not the most accomplished cook. And for some reason, I feel rather self conscious about blogging about food. There seems to be a few cookie cutter stereotypes for bloggers who talk about food.

• The mother blogger. She whips up creme brulee and home made sushi, while looking picture perfect. The food looks perfect, her kitchen looks perfect. And really, all you can wonder is, how come her children have such elevated palettes? Most children thrive on chicken nuggets, not pate, right?
• The lovable grandmother blogger. She cooks southern comfort food, and so many cookies that it's a wonder she hasn't died of diabetes complications. Never mind the fact that it's really her 7 year old grandson who uploads the pictures and writes the blog, you can't bother with technology when you are being the quintessential homemaking grandmother.
• The young hipster. She may and or may not be married. Lives in a fantastic large city, or an ironically cliche small town. She photographs her creations at artistic angles, and overall oozes charm and coolness.

Surprise guys, I'm not any of those people. Alas, I am but a poor college student who hates boxed mac and cheese and is afraid of dying of MSG poisoning from Ramen Noodles.
Thusly leading to cooking for real. \

So today, I felt like Korean Beef. Spoiler alert, it's not Korean. Pinterest isn't exactly culturally accurate.
Next spoiler alert, it IS beef. So it is partially accurate in the name.

This is the absolute cheapest least classy version of this recipe. Altered with the fact that there are church mice who have more money than me. So, class it up as you feel necessary.
Here's what you're gonna need
1 lb of ground beef (the leaner the better, otherwise it's a tad greasy)
1/2 cup brown sugar. (unless you think that much sugar will kill you, then 1/4 cup is good too)
1/4 cup soy sauce ( low sodium is better for your health!)
1/2 Tbsp oil
1 tsp minced garlic.
If you are feeling particularly rich, you should add minced ginger. If you're poor, then just hang your head in shame and question everything in your life.
Salt and pepper
Cayenne pepper* optional. But delicious. And totally worth it. But don't worry I won't pressure you into it

Whip out yourself a skillet of your choosing and plop that bad boy down on the burner, medium heat. Innocently tell anyone who may be in the kitchen with you, that you've never cooked before. This will put them on edge, and also make them have poison control on speed dial. Little will they know that you are a fetching PRO at cooking.
Brown the hamburger, garlic and oil. Stir and flip stuff around like you really know what you're doing. If anyone tells you its starting to smell good, go all Gollum on them and tell them to back away from your precious. There is a culinary genius at work here. Don't let them forget that.
If your ground beef has a high fat content then you either want to not put as much oil in, or just drain out some of the oil and fat out. After all, dying from clogged arteries during dinner kinda puts a damper on the culinary genius title.
Add the salt pepper, ginger and cayenne if you are cool, brown sugar, and soy sauce into the mix. Let everything simmer for a few minutes to let all the flavors blend. And presto! You are done.

Oh? But what are you doing to serve it with? First of all white rice. There is only one key to making rice if you don't have a rice cooker. Prayer. There are just too many things that can go wrong with rice. So you just pray your little face off that it will work out. It doesn't even matter who you pray to. Just pray.
Personally, I think that steamed vegetables go excellently with this. But if you have personal reason for hating vegetables, to you I say, have a nice life without any happiness.

Finally serve yourself and anyone who is brave enough to eat with you. Accept any compliments that are thrown your way, and insist that you just threw it together from a dream you had.
With any luck they will fall into a food coma. And everyone will be happy.

And that's it folks.